


Panicky

by Rainydaysunrise



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Home Alone, M/M, OCD, Panic Attacks, Simon Snow is home by himself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 10:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16574702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainydaysunrise/pseuds/Rainydaysunrise
Summary: Simon Snow is home by himself tonight.When he is alone, he overthinks.These are his thoughts.





	Panicky

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! :D 
> 
> I hope you all have a great day/night and thank you for reading! This does have a happy ending and ends rather abruptly, sorry for that, I'm just really tired but I wanted to post tonight.
> 
> I am going to put a mild trigger warning because I do mention mental illness and there is panic. So please take care of yourselves and click away if it is too much or you need to. I understand. <3

The flat was quiet.

Really quiet.

Simon was alone tonight, a cup of tea in his hands and jittery feet tap tap tapping on the carpet. 

He was alone.

Like, Alone Alone. 

For the first time in months. 

Baz had called and said he would be late, that he had some stuff he had to take care of before he came home.

And Simon knew it was important.

But it didn’t make him any less nervous.

‘Impulses’ That’s what they had called this. The ever growing need to fight, to run, to be, to do. He felt like he needed to get up and be productive.

Do something or something bad would happen.

They called his one OCD. 

Or something like that.

The golden boy of Watford was here alone in a flat, feet tapping on the carpet, wearing the same pajamas that he had been wearing this morning and drinking a cup of tea that was growing cold.

He laughed quietly, the irony getting to him.

But what if

What if

What if.

What if Baz didn’t come back?

What if he never saw Penny again?

What if The Mage came back from wherever you go and wanted Simon to fight?

Would he fight?

Could he fight? 

Did he want to fight ever again? 

No.

The answer was no.

And poor Agatha. 

Penny had been in contact, but she wanted privacy, only a sign of life to be given.

She had made it out and was doing okay.

Not fine but okay. 

She did not want to speak to Simon.

Or Baz.

Or about Ebb.

Or anyone.

She wanted a normal life, much like Simon and that’s what she got.

Also what he had gotten too, but that was besides the point. 

He heard the front door open and shakily stood, trying to calm himself with the sound of Baz taking off his shoes.

“Snow? I’m home- Bloody hell, are you alright, Love?” 

Baz dropped his papers and took the five steps it took to get to Simon and wrapped his arms around him.

Familiar.

Cedar and coffee beans. 

It smelled like Baz.

Of course it did, it was Baz. 

He took a few more deep breaths and wrapped his arms around the raven haired man.

“Just panicky. I’m so...Happy to see you.”

And he held him tight, letting the calm wash over him once again.


End file.
